Marriage Foundations: Building a solid home

Have you heard of Jesus’ parable of the Wise and Foolish Builders at the end of His Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 7:24-27)?  To quickly recap, Jesus uses the parable to share with us that a strong, spiritual life (or house) is built on the firm foundation, the rock of His Word, and everything else is like building on the sand; just about anything will knock the house over.  This parable reminds us that we are all building the foundation of our lives on something.  But have you ever stopped to consider that your marriage is a foundation?  And like the parable Jesus gave us, there are good marital foundations as well as bad. 

Prior to my journey toward becoming a Marriage & Family Therapist, I spent over 35 years in Architecture as a residential designer.  With each home I would design, there were 4 basic elements: the ground the house was built on, the foundation that was laid on the ground, the framed structure, and exterior siding and roofing to keep the elements of the world on the outside and not the inside.  The most critical of those 4 basic elements of a home are the soil on which the house is built and the strength of the foundation.  Without those 2 elements, the house would either collapse or become completely unsafe to live in.

It was about 14 years ago that I began to view marriage as the foundation of which family is built on.  That seems fairly obvious when simply stated, but if we take the analogy of building a house and apply the process to marriage, that statement takes on a deeper meaning.  What begins to emerge from the analogy is that the soil represents that part of us we bring into the marriage.  Like the soil, those parts can have good and bad aspects that come along with them, and they can affect the foundation we intend to build as husband and wife – our marriage. 

Once we have established the foundation of our marriage, couples often look to build a family on it.  For some, the structure of the home is having biological children, while for others, providing foster care or adopting a child is the structure they desire to build.  Much like the varying tastes of physical homes, the exterior and roof of our marital home depends on how you want yours to look.  For some, faith plays an important role in the building of a home, and they desire to have their particular faith be the protective covering.  For others, it may be a specific value system, worldview, social justice cause, or moral characteristics that they see as the style of their home.  Every home is unique, and the exterior is where that uniqueness becomes visible to the neighbors.

Like in the parable, when the storms and winds of life hit your marriage, you often learn of areas in the soil or your foundation that need strengthening.  That is what we help with: strengthening families in the name of Jesus Christ.  If you and your loved ones are needing family repairs, remodeling, or help with additions we are here for you.

This is the first blog in a series that I am praying will have a positive impact on all your relationships.  If you will allow me to be your designer, I would like to work with you to create a beautiful home.  Blogs can be a wonderful method of discovery, but they can never offer the level of care that therapy can offer.  Here at Arizona Family Counseling, we have a team of counselors (designers) ready to assist you in whatever area of the process you might find yourself in.  Our website is or you can reach us by phone at (877) 847-6104.  Our greatest desire is to serve God by serving you, and in serving you as you engage in your construction project, we can meet our mission of strengthening families in the name of Jesus Christ.


Stephen Kaech, MA, BHT

Child & Family Therapist

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