Children go through a variety of struggles as they grow. Some of these are age-normative and “typical.” Others seem a bit above and beyond what caregivers and parents might expect. When is it time to take a child to see a counselor or therapist? It might be time to visit a therapist when a child’s struggles are such that he or she might benefit from outside help and support.
Struggles in children present in a myriad of different ways. The most tell-tale sign of a struggle is a change in typical behavior (Passmore, 2022; Sullivan, 2024). The child’s sleep and/or appetite might change (Cleveland Health Clinic, 2021; Shiffer, 2023). A student who usually gets A’s may begin to fail in school (Mindful Health Solutions, 2023; Ohana Behavioral Health, n.d.; Rehman, n.d.; Sullivan). A previously socially active child may withdraw and/or isolate (Mindful Health Solutions, Passmore; Rehman; Shiffer; Wood, 2024). These symptoms may or may not demonstrate a mental health struggle, but they demonstrate a struggle of some kind: physical, emotional, mental, social, and/or spiritual. Seeking further care and consultation is a good next step for parents to take.
Going to a family doctor is a good first step in seeking support for a child. A pediatrician can help caregivers and parents sort out typical and non-typical symptoms (Cleveland Health Clinic). A pediatrician can also help rule out physical causes of a child’s change in behavior, such as a blood sugar or thyroid issue. If the pediatrician rules out physical causes of changed behavior, the pediatrician can then refer to a mental health professional (Mindful Health Solutions, 2023). Seeking support from professionals does not demonstrate a defect in the care of parents. Rather, it shows that parents care about their children and want the best for them.
What other types of issues might give caregivers and parents good cause for seeking support from mental health professionals? Sadness or anxiety that does not seem to remit might be one issue (Mindful Health Solutions, 2023). Excessive worry and/or hopelessness about the future might also give parents pause (Cleveland Health Clinic, 2021; Ohana Behavioral Health, n.d.; Rehman, n.d.). A child threatening any type of harm to self or others definitely warrants immediate attention (Cleveland Health Clinic). Social issues like frequent fights, obsession with appearance, or harm to animals may also encourage parents to seek support for their children (Ohana Behavioral Health). Nightmares and clinginess in children who have experienced trauma might mean the child needs to do some trauma processing (Ohana Behavioral Health, Shiffer, 2023). Relational struggles with adoptive parents may encourage parents to seek attachment therapy to build a healthy parent-child bond (Carnes-Holt, 2015). Sometimes, the child may expressly ask for support. Really, it is up to the caregivers and parents of a child to decide when the child could benefit from support.
Can caregivers and parents seek support for their child too early? Perhaps. Perhaps the child’s struggles are normative. Still, will it really hurt a child to get additional support, to know that parents care enough to notice the change? Most likely not. Instead, counseling may help children experience love and care from parents. Counseling may help children name and process feelings. Counseling may teach children skills which they can use later in life. Counseling time is really only “bad” for children when framed as a consequence, or a result of being “bad.” When framed as a resource, it has endless possibilities for being just that, a resource for children and families who may be experiencing difficulties.
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