As we look back to our reference point found in Matt. 7:24-27, Jesus’ parable of the Wise and Foolish Builder begins with the word “therefore.” He goes on to say that in order to be wise – a wise builder – we must put into practice His words. What words? I was taught many years ago that when reading the Bible, if you read the word “therefore” you need to ask yourself “what is it there for?” As it turns out His words begin all the way back in chapter 5 as Jesus commences giving His Sermon on the Mount. In this sermon, Jesus starts off by informing us of the blessings in store for us if we follow His words and then lays out how we should be acting to receive those blessings, capping His sermon with the parable we are focusing on. Everything prior to the parable pertains to the remainder of the house we are building through our marriage and the family we form – the foundation, the framing, and the exterior. The parable itself is simply emphasizing the wisdom of one who builds a strong house on the firm foundation of God and His word. Before we pour our foundation, let’s take a look at what makes a firm foundation in the building world.
Several things can be done to a foundation to add strength to it. Sand, rock, and steel as well as chemical mixtures can be added to enhance the strength of concrete when the foundation is on some of the high to moderately desirable soils. For some of the lower desirable soils, cables called post-tension tendons are laid and concrete poured around them. As the concrete sets, the tendons are tightened giving the foundation tremendous amounts of strength.
The ways of strengthening a foundation have evolved over the years as engineers try to minimize the cracks that can allow damaging elements to enter the home. Moisture can be a big issue causing the deterioration of materials inside the home or allowing mold to develop. Bugs, especially subterranean termites, are also a problem due to cracked slabs. They can cause damage that may never be seen until it is too late. Large cracks in slabs can cause the framing on top to be out of alignment and we can begin to see cracks in the walls or ceilings. The more severe cracks can cause the whole house to become unstable and unlivable. All these potential issues can be minimized, if not avoided, if the team building the house pays close attention to the recommendations of the engineer on how to treat the soil and strengthen the foundation – which makes selecting the right engineer vitally important.
The engineers we choose for the marriage we are building come from all over. Our parents’ marriage example, our worldview, society, and religion all become engineers that provide input to the marriage construction. But the foundation of marriage is not as simple as the foundation laid for building a home. In home-building, once the foundation is poured, you’re done. There is nothing left to do but begin the framing. In marriage, our foundation is constantly exposed to a changing environment – having children, the developmental stages of those children (adolescence is such a joy), school, sports, work-life, becoming empty-nester’s, children getting married, grandbabies – all affecting our foundation in differing ways and can cause cracks in the foundation. In fact, I would say that cracks in the marriage foundation are inevitable, but they do not have to be devastating. This is where I believe the engineering of your marriage foundation is so important but even the best engineer cannot promise a home that will never have issues. However, if we look to the parable from Jesus and the instructions he gave prior to it, we can have the engineering input we need to build a successful home on a firm foundation.
As I stated a moment ago, there are many forms of input we receive that affect our foundation and often that input differs greatly between the two marriage partners. Many couples struggle to navigate those differences making it difficult to pour a strong foundation due to the conflicting input from the engineers that have influenced their lives. Small cracks can be perceived as large ones, undermining their ability to strengthen the foundation (in a future blog, I will discuss the foundations that crumble – divorce – and how to rebuild a new foundation). This is where a third-party engineer can be helpful. However, I do want to acknowledge that not everyone has a Christian worldview as their engineering input, and I respect that. Here at Arizona Family Counseling, we have a team of counselors (engineers) that are equipped to assist you in navigating those differences and to help guide you toward a strong marriage foundation regardless of your worldview. Our website is www.arizonafamilycounseling.com or you can reach us by phone at (877) 847-6104. Our greatest desire is to serve God by serving you, and in serving you as you engage in your construction project, we can meet our mission of strengthening families in the name of Jesus Christ.
As we look back to our reference point found in Matt. 7:24-27, Jesus’ parable of the Wise and Foolish Builder begins with the word “therefore.” He goes on to say that in order to be wise – a wise builder – we must put into practice His words. What words? I was taught many years ago that when reading the Bible, if you read the word “therefore” you need to ask yourself “what is it there for?” As it turns out His words begin all the way back in chapter 5 as Jesus commences giving His Sermon on the Mount. In this sermon, Jesus starts off by informing us of the blessings in store for us if we follow His words and then lays out how we should be acting to receive those blessings, capping His sermon with the parable we are focusing on. Everything prior to the parable pertains to the remainder of the house we are building through our marriage and the family we form – the foundation, the framing, and the exterior. The parable itself is simply emphasizing the wisdom of one who builds a strong house on the firm foundation of God and His word. Before we pour our foundation, let’s take a look at what makes a firm foundation in the building world.
Several things can be done to a foundation to add strength to it. Sand, rock, and steel as well as chemical mixtures can be added to enhance the strength of concrete when the foundation is on some of the high to moderately desirable soils. For some of the lower desirable soils, cables called post-tension tendons are laid and concrete poured around them. As the concrete sets, the tendons are tightened giving the foundation tremendous amounts of strength.
The ways of strengthening a foundation have evolved over the years as engineers try to minimize the cracks that can allow damaging elements to enter the home. Moisture can be a big issue causing the deterioration of materials inside the home or allowing mold to develop. Bugs, especially subterranean termites, are also a problem due to cracked slabs. They can cause damage that may never be seen until it is too late. Large cracks in slabs can cause the framing on top to be out of alignment and we can begin to see cracks in the walls or ceilings. The more severe cracks can cause the whole house to become unstable and unlivable. All these potential issues can be minimized, if not avoided, if the team building the house pays close attention to the recommendations of the engineer on how to treat the soil and strengthen the foundation – which makes selecting the right engineer vitally important.
The engineers we choose for the marriage we are building come from all over. Our parents’ marriage example, our worldview, society, and religion all become engineers that provide input to the marriage construction. But the foundation of marriage is not as simple as the foundation laid for building a home. In home-building, once the foundation is poured, you’re done. There is nothing left to do but begin the framing. In marriage, our foundation is constantly exposed to a changing environment – having children, the developmental stages of those children (adolescence is such a joy), school, sports, work-life, becoming empty-nester’s, children getting married, grandbabies – all affecting our foundation in differing ways and can cause cracks in the foundation. In fact, I would say that cracks in the marriage foundation are inevitable, but they do not have to be devastating. This is where I believe the engineering of your marriage foundation is so important but even the best engineer cannot promise a home that will never have issues. However, if we look to the parable from Jesus and the instructions he gave prior to it, we can have the engineering input we need to build a successful home on a firm foundation.
As I stated a moment ago, there are many forms of input we receive that affect our foundation and often that input differs greatly between the two marriage partners. Many couples struggle to navigate those differences making it difficult to pour a strong foundation due to the conflicting input from the engineers that have influenced their lives. Small cracks can be perceived as large ones, undermining their ability to strengthen the foundation (in a future blog, I will discuss the foundations that crumble – divorce – and how to rebuild a new foundation). This is where a third-party engineer can be helpful. However, I do want to acknowledge that not everyone has a Christian worldview as their engineering input, and I respect that. Here at Arizona Family Counseling, we have a team of counselors (engineers) that are equipped to assist you in navigating those differences and to help guide you toward a strong marriage foundation regardless of your worldview. Our website is www.arizonafamilycounseling.com or you can reach us by phone at (877) 847-6104. Our greatest desire is to serve God by serving you, and in serving you as you engage in your construction project, we can meet our mission of strengthening families in the name of Jesus Christ.
ES 
EN