Family Therapy for Bullying Behavior in Kids and Adults

Bullying is a systemic problem in the United States. It happens in schools. It happens in workplaces. It happens online. It happens to children. It happens to teens. It happens to adults. But what about when bullying happens within the family? What should parents do if their child engages in bullying behaviors? What should adult family members do if they experience bullying? All of these individuals need resources. Family therapy might be one of them.

First, it helps to define bullying. Bullying is defined as “aggressive behavior” done “intentionally and repeatedly” to harm another person. (American Psychological Association, n.d.). It is just not being mean one time, but being intentionally mean over and over. It is not just struggling with emotional regulation, but making plans to take out emotions on others repeatedly, and in negative ways. Bullying can be physical, emotional, or verbal. It can happen in person or via the internet (Anti-Bullying Alliance, n.d.). Bullying has adverse effects both on the victims of it, and on the bullies who perpetrate it. Victims can have increased sadness, loneliness, and even depression and anxiety (StopBullying.gov, 2025). They may also struggle with low self-worth and poor ongoing social interactions (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, n.d.). Bullies may struggle with their own mental and physical health and may also be bullied themselves (Consequences of bullying behavior, 2016). In short, bullying is a negative behavior for individuals, and for society.

People once thought of bullying as an issue that mostly affected schoolchildren. Now, individuals recognize that bullying can happen just as frequently among adults: in public, in the workplace, and in families (Bhatia, 2023; Williamsburg Therapy Group, 2023). What can be done to help reduce bullying behavior? Helping bullies as well as the victims of bullying is one answer. While it may seem counterintuitive to offer support to the bullies themselves, this may be an effective way to reduce the root of the problem.

Family therapy may be an especially helpful form of treatment for bullies because it provides a relational context in which to address struggles. Family therapists can witness the process of bullying if it is happening amongst family members. Family therapists can help address aggressive behaviors by increasing the boundaries and communication of boundaries for victims. (AbleTo, n.d.; Green Psychology Group, n.d.). They can also help identify and resolve the emotional struggles of the bullies (Good Therapy, 2019). Family therapy can help teach constructive communication and conflict resolution (Akter, 2023). Family therapy does require participation from both family members and the bully, but where this is possible, outcomes can be good.

Do all bullies have families with which to participate in therapy? No. For this reason, individual therapy is another resource for both bullies and the bullied. Individual work may also supplement and support the family work. There is no pat answer or quick fix for bullying, but addressing its underlying causes is a helpful path towards healing. Therapy is a great place to process the past and move forward in a more helpful, hopeful manner.