As we enter the holiday season, we often get reports from parents that their children are showing an increase in behaviors, have new behaviors, or old behaviors have resurfaced. For many, this time of year is joyous, full of fun activities, and family gatherings. For others, this time of year is a trigger for past trauma, pain over the loss or disconnection of family, or is all together overwhelming. As adults, we may be able to name these stressors and communicate them with others. For our children, words often fall short when managing their emotions and rather than share how they are feeling, they display those feelings to others through their behaviors. As parents, it can be difficult seeing our children struggle during this happy season. However, if we can name what our child is experiencing, we may be able to provide them comfort and connection as they process the holidays.
Below are some signs your child may be struggling during the holiday season.
Signs your child is triggered:
- Want to ruin the holidays for others
- Need more control
- Are aggressive or mean to other children in the home or their peers
- Are demanding over family activities or demand certain gifts
- Appear shut down or depressed
Signs your child is grieving or longing for those gone:
- Disclose past trauma and family members they currently do not see
- Show no interest in activities or avoid things they usually enjoy
- Don’t have an appetite
- Seem more emotional and cry easily
- Don’t want to have fun or share they can’t be happy
Signs your child is overwhelmed:
- Child struggles with all the holiday decorations and bright lights
- Child fears inflatables, Santa, moving decorations
- Child is intolerant to holiday food, is gagging, throwing food on the floor
- Christmas music is too loud or hurts their ears
- Family gatherings consist of too many people, and they hide or act out.
If your child is displaying any of the above symptoms, they could be struggling during this holiday season. Parents who are able to adjust family outings, not make the house too busy with decorations, are able to provide their child different food options, or a quiet place to sit when overwhelmed can greatly assist their child in navigating this season. But the most important “gift” for your children is grace this Christmas. By showing empathy to our children and lowering our expectations of them, we are providing them (and us) a higher chance or accepting and being overall content with the holiday season.
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As we enter the holiday season, we often get reports from parents that their children are showing an increase in behaviors, have new behaviors, or old behaviors have resurfaced. For many, this time of year is joyous, full of fun activities, and family gatherings. For others, this time of year is a trigger for past trauma, pain over the loss or disconnection of family, or is all together overwhelming. As adults, we may be able to name these stressors and communicate them with others. For our children, words often fall short when managing their emotions and rather than share how they are feeling, they display those feelings to others through their behaviors. As parents, it can be difficult seeing our children struggle during this happy season. However, if we can name what our child is experiencing, we may be able to provide them comfort and connection as they process the holidays.
Below are some signs your child may be struggling during the holiday season.
Signs your child is triggered:
- Want to ruin the holidays for others
- Need more control
- Are aggressive or mean to other children in the home or their peers
- Are demanding over family activities or demand certain gifts
- Appear shut down or depressed
Signs your child is grieving or longing for those gone:
- Disclose past trauma and family members they currently do not see
- Show no interest in activities or avoid things they usually enjoy
- Don’t have an appetite
- Seem more emotional and cry easily
- Don’t want to have fun or share they can’t be happy
Signs your child is overwhelmed:
- Child struggles with all the holiday decorations and bright lights
- Child fears inflatables, Santa, moving decorations
- Child is intolerant to holiday food, is gagging, throwing food on the floor
- Christmas music is too loud or hurts their ears
- Family gatherings consist of too many people, and they hide or act out.
If your child is displaying any of the above symptoms, they could be struggling during this holiday season. Parents who are able to adjust family outings, not make the house too busy with decorations, are able to provide their child different food options, or a quiet place to sit when overwhelmed can greatly assist their child in navigating this season. But the most important “gift” for your children is grace this Christmas. By showing empathy to our children and lowering our expectations of them, we are providing them (and us) a higher chance or accepting and being overall content with the holiday season.
Recommended Reads
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