With framing complete and all the structural elements in place, it was time to install what was referred to as “Thermal and Moisture Protection”; a fancy way of saying exterior finish (siding, doors, windows) and roof. This is also an important part of the process because they protect the interior of the home while all the interior finishes are being installed. These exterior finishes were what would give the home its “curb appeal” and every client was different in how they wanted their home to look. Depending on the client’s preference, the style might be Contemporary, Craftsman, Farmhouse, or something totally unique and new, but it was always the choice of the client unless they wanted me, as the designer, to help them in deciding. In those situations, I would typically bring several books with me that had a wide variety of styles I felt might work with the client’s style of living and go through them with the client to see what they resonated with. Together, as client and designer, we would come up with a design that the client was happy with. I had to realize that even though I was the professional in the room, I was not the one who had to live in the home – that was the client – and their love of the home was more important than my pride in designing the “perfect” home.
While the exterior finishes are important to convey the design style the clients have selected, the most important material is what lies beneath the surface between those materials and the framing – the underlayment. The underlayment is a thin protective material that keeps the elements of weather – rain, heat, wind, etc. – from affecting the interior of the home. Compared to the finish materials like roofing and siding, the underlayment is considerably thinner and more subject to damage especially during construction. Without a properly installed underlayment, water, the most damaging of all external forces, can seep into the home and cause rot, deterioration of framing members, and mold to build inside the walls of the home. This can go completely undetected by the homeowner until considerable damage has occurred; damage that can be quite costly.
Just as our home is being protected by a thin layer, our marriages are also protected by a thin layer called Trust. While there are many external elements that can come against our marriages trying to break them down, if our trust in our relationship is strong and properly installed, we can weather the storms. However, when our protective layer of trust has been damaged, elements can creep in undetected and damage the structure of our home without us knowing it until it is too late, causing costly repairs. So, what are the elements that can cause so much damage to our relational trust? I would like to turn back to the Bible to answer that question.
In Galatians 5:19-21, the Apostle Paul gives a list of characteristics that he refers to as the “sin nature,” but I would like to rephrase them, for our purpose, as a list of characteristics that damage trust and weaken our protective layer. I have edited down Paul’s list as follows, but you can look the passage up for yourself if you would like to read the full list: Hatred, Discord, Fits of Rage, Selfish Ambition, Dissensions, Factions, and Envy. These are very strong words and not ones that most people use in describing their marriage struggles so allow me again to re-word them into two words: Unhealthy Communication.
Communication is the number one reason couples come to see me, and it is unhealthy communication that allows the trust-damaging list of characteristics to enter our relationship. Through unhealthy communication, hatred can seep in in the form of increasingly strong disagreements that bring discord to the marriage and lead to dissension in the relationship. Fits of rage and selfish ambition may take the form of “right-fighting,” arguing solely to prove our point that we are right, and the other person is wrong. Eventually, factions between couples form as they seek outsiders to take their side against their partner to further support them in being “right.” Envy and resentment settle in as walls are built between partners and before they know it the marriage is merely two people miserably existing in the same household as one or the other – or both – contemplate divorce.
All of this takes place in that thin, underlayment area beneath the surface, out of view to everyone else and often times outside of our own awareness. But eventually it begins to affect the “curb appeal” of our home; siding begins to chip away and cracks that are visible to everyone begin to form. If we have framed our home with children, they too become affected by the breakdown of trust in the relationship because the foundation – the marriage relationship – is cracking.
If you find yourself unhappy with the “curb appeal” of your home, we have a team of counselors here at Arizona Family Counseling that would love to help. Our website is www.arizonafamilycounseling.com or you can reach us by phone at (877) 847-6104. Our greatest desire is to serve God by serving you, and in serving you as you engage in your construction project, we can meet our mission of strengthening families in the name of Jesus Christ.
With framing complete and all the structural elements in place, it was time to install what was referred to as “Thermal and Moisture Protection”; a fancy way of saying exterior finish (siding, doors, windows) and roof. This is also an important part of the process because they protect the interior of the home while all the interior finishes are being installed. These exterior finishes were what would give the home its “curb appeal” and every client was different in how they wanted their home to look. Depending on the client’s preference, the style might be Contemporary, Craftsman, Farmhouse, or something totally unique and new, but it was always the choice of the client unless they wanted me, as the designer, to help them in deciding. In those situations, I would typically bring several books with me that had a wide variety of styles I felt might work with the client’s style of living and go through them with the client to see what they resonated with. Together, as client and designer, we would come up with a design that the client was happy with. I had to realize that even though I was the professional in the room, I was not the one who had to live in the home – that was the client – and their love of the home was more important than my pride in designing the “perfect” home.
While the exterior finishes are important to convey the design style the clients have selected, the most important material is what lies beneath the surface between those materials and the framing – the underlayment. The underlayment is a thin protective material that keeps the elements of weather – rain, heat, wind, etc. – from affecting the interior of the home. Compared to the finish materials like roofing and siding, the underlayment is considerably thinner and more subject to damage especially during construction. Without a properly installed underlayment, water, the most damaging of all external forces, can seep into the home and cause rot, deterioration of framing members, and mold to build inside the walls of the home. This can go completely undetected by the homeowner until considerable damage has occurred; damage that can be quite costly.
Just as our home is being protected by a thin layer, our marriages are also protected by a thin layer called Trust. While there are many external elements that can come against our marriages trying to break them down, if our trust in our relationship is strong and properly installed, we can weather the storms. However, when our protective layer of trust has been damaged, elements can creep in undetected and damage the structure of our home without us knowing it until it is too late, causing costly repairs. So, what are the elements that can cause so much damage to our relational trust? I would like to turn back to the Bible to answer that question.
In Galatians 5:19-21, the Apostle Paul gives a list of characteristics that he refers to as the “sin nature,” but I would like to rephrase them, for our purpose, as a list of characteristics that damage trust and weaken our protective layer. I have edited down Paul’s list as follows, but you can look the passage up for yourself if you would like to read the full list: Hatred, Discord, Fits of Rage, Selfish Ambition, Dissensions, Factions, and Envy. These are very strong words and not ones that most people use in describing their marriage struggles so allow me again to re-word them into two words: Unhealthy Communication.
Communication is the number one reason couples come to see me, and it is unhealthy communication that allows the trust-damaging list of characteristics to enter our relationship. Through unhealthy communication, hatred can seep in in the form of increasingly strong disagreements that bring discord to the marriage and lead to dissension in the relationship. Fits of rage and selfish ambition may take the form of “right-fighting,” arguing solely to prove our point that we are right, and the other person is wrong. Eventually, factions between couples form as they seek outsiders to take their side against their partner to further support them in being “right.” Envy and resentment settle in as walls are built between partners and before they know it the marriage is merely two people miserably existing in the same household as one or the other – or both – contemplate divorce.
All of this takes place in that thin, underlayment area beneath the surface, out of view to everyone else and often times outside of our own awareness. But eventually it begins to affect the “curb appeal” of our home; siding begins to chip away and cracks that are visible to everyone begin to form. If we have framed our home with children, they too become affected by the breakdown of trust in the relationship because the foundation – the marriage relationship – is cracking.
If you find yourself unhappy with the “curb appeal” of your home, we have a team of counselors here at Arizona Family Counseling that would love to help. Our website is www.arizonafamilycounseling.com or you can reach us by phone at (877) 847-6104. Our greatest desire is to serve God by serving you, and in serving you as you engage in your construction project, we can meet our mission of strengthening families in the name of Jesus Christ.
EN 
ES