Attachment is a difficult thing. Designed to form between a healthy caregiver and an infant starting in utero, this process often gets disrupted and disorganized by early trauma. In cases of adoption and foster care, children often lack attachment to current caregivers and must form it through effort on the part of themselves and their caregivers. Children who experienced early trauma often need professional support to help heal and build healthy attachments. Their caregivers can promote healthy attachment through additional work at home, however.
- Arts and crafts: Parallel engagement incites imagination and self-expression.
- Board game play: Engagement encourages cooperation and collaboration.
- Catch: Throwing a ball back and forth teaches reciprocity (Via Admin, 2013).
- Cooking: Baking, chopping, and stirring allows for practice of personal agency and shared enjoyment (Behavioral Health Services of Arkansas).
- Guessing games: Using the senses helps reconnect the mind and body in the presence of a safe caregiver.
- Hide and go seek: Play increases tolerance for positive affect as caregivers take pleasure in finding children (Earles, 2022).
- Movies: Watching movies allows children to feel included and validated when they get to choose the film (Behavioral Health Services of Arkansas).
- Outdoor time: Time outside provides safe connection with the “other” of nature.
- Self-care: Activities like sharing lotion promote nurture (Parenting with Understanding, 2012).
- Volunteer time: Working together for the benefit of others can encourage shared identity.
Will these activities restore perfect attachment to children? No, probably not, but in conjunction with good trauma-informed therapy, they may help nourish the attachment pathway. Healthy attachment benefits caregivers and children, and investing in it is worth it, for the good of the home and the world outside it.
Recommended Reads
Attachment is a difficult thing. Designed to form between a healthy caregiver and an infant starting in utero, this process often gets disrupted and disorganized by early trauma. In cases of adoption and foster care, children often lack attachment to current caregivers and must form it through effort on the part of themselves and their caregivers. Children who experienced early trauma often need professional support to help heal and build healthy attachments. Their caregivers can promote healthy attachment through additional work at home, however.
- Arts and crafts: Parallel engagement incites imagination and self-expression.
- Board game play: Engagement encourages cooperation and collaboration.
- Catch: Throwing a ball back and forth teaches reciprocity (Via Admin, 2013).
- Cooking: Baking, chopping, and stirring allows for practice of personal agency and shared enjoyment (Behavioral Health Services of Arkansas).
- Guessing games: Using the senses helps reconnect the mind and body in the presence of a safe caregiver.
- Hide and go seek: Play increases tolerance for positive affect as caregivers take pleasure in finding children (Earles, 2022).
- Movies: Watching movies allows children to feel included and validated when they get to choose the film (Behavioral Health Services of Arkansas).
- Outdoor time: Time outside provides safe connection with the “other” of nature.
- Self-care: Activities like sharing lotion promote nurture (Parenting with Understanding, 2012).
- Volunteer time: Working together for the benefit of others can encourage shared identity.
Will these activities restore perfect attachment to children? No, probably not, but in conjunction with good trauma-informed therapy, they may help nourish the attachment pathway. Healthy attachment benefits caregivers and children, and investing in it is worth it, for the good of the home and the world outside it.
Recommended Reads
References
Behavioral Health Services of Arkansas. (n.d.) Engaging activities for children with RAD. https://www.bhsarkansas.org/engaging-activities-for-children-with-rad
Bright Quest Treatment Centers. (n.d.) What is attachment trauma? https://www.brightquest.com/relational-trauma/what-is-attachment-trauma/
Corkum, M., & Qualls, L. (n.d.). Blocked care: How to regain compassion for yourself and your child. The Archibald Project. https://thearchibaldproject.com/blocked-care-how-to-regain-compassion-for-yourself-and-your-child/
Earles, S. (2022, September 14). Hide-and-seek play: Benefits and risks. Arizona Family Counseling. https://arizonafamilycounseling.com/blog/hide-and-seek-play/
Ogle, C.M., Rubin, D.C., & Siegler, I.C. (2015). The relation between insecure attachment and posttraumatic stress: Early life versus adulthood traumas. Psychol Trauma 7(4):324-32. doi: 10.1037/tra0000015.
Mikulincer, M., Ein-Dor, T., Solomon, Z., & Shaver, P. R. (2011). Trajectories of attachment insecurities over a 17-year period: A latent growth curve analysis of the impact of war captivity and posttraumatic stress disorder. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 30, 960 –984.
Parenting with Understanding. (2012, March 27). Theraplay activities – Nurture. https://parentingwithunderstanding.com/2012/03/27/theraplay-activities-nurture/
Psychology Today Staff. (n.d.) Attachment. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/attachment
Sikkema, K. (Mar 27). Reactive Attachment Disorder therapy: What you can learn from our family’s unfortunate trauma-informed experience. RAD Advocates. https://www.radadvocates.org/post/reactive-attachment-disorder-therapy-unfortunate-trauma-informed-experience
Via Admin. (2013, July 5). 15 games that encourage attachment. Children’s Home Society of Minnesota. https://chlss.org/blog/15-games-that-encourage-attachment/
References
Behavioral Health Services of Arkansas. (n.d.) Engaging activities for children with RAD. https://www.bhsarkansas.org/engaging-activities-for-children-with-rad
Bright Quest Treatment Centers. (n.d.) What is attachment trauma? https://www.brightquest.com/relational-trauma/what-is-attachment-trauma/
Corkum, M., & Qualls, L. (n.d.). Blocked care: How to regain compassion for yourself and your child. The Archibald Project. https://thearchibaldproject.com/blocked-care-how-to-regain-compassion-for-yourself-and-your-child/
Earles, S. (2022, September 14). Hide-and-seek play: Benefits and risks. Arizona Family Counseling. https://arizonafamilycounseling.com/ blog/hide-and-seek-play/
Ogle, C.M., Rubin, D.C., & Siegler, I.C. (2015). The relation between insecure attachment and posttraumatic stress: Early life versus adulthood traumas. Psychol Trauma 7(4):324-32. doi: 10.1037/tra0000015.
Mikulincer, M., Ein-Dor, T., Solomon, Z., & Shaver, P. R. (2011). Trajectories of attachment insecurities over a 17-year period: A latent growth curve analysis of the impact of war captivity and posttraumatic stress disorder. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 30, 960 –984.
Parenting with Understanding. (2012, March 27). Theraplay activities – Nurture. https://parentingwithunderstanding.com /2012/03/27/theraplay-activities-nurture/
Psychology Today Staff. (n.d.) Attachment. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/ basics/attachment
Sikkema, K. (Mar 27). Reactive Attachment Disorder therapy: What you can learn from our family’s unfortunate trauma-informed experience. RAD Advocates. https://www.radadvocates.org/post/ reactive-attachment-disorder-therapy-unfortunate-trauma-informed-experience
Via Admin. (2013, July 5). 15 games that encourage attachment. Children’s Home Society of Minnesota. https://chlss.org/blog/15-games-that-encourage-attachment/
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